after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
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