There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize