grandma shit on top of the toilet
I think my fart just growled at me.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
