I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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