I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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