i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
