East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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