Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
