No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
