she was so not down for the gang bang
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
