How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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