this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
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