the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize