They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Randomize
