I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
