I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
