you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize