No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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