I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
