Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
