Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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