yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
