I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Say something about gay babies.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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