If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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