meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
