What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
