I don't remember. Are we still dating?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Found your dick twin last night
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Randomize
