I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
