In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
