Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Randomize
