I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
