your thong is hanging out like whoa
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
