You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize