Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
