There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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