you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
