He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
i think i just lost a toe
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize