What did we do last night that was yellow?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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