i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
