Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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