Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I think I sprained my soul last night
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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