True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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