Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
