i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
