i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
My penis needs a shock collar
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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