I don't think brook has ever known best
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
