sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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