sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
