Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize