it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
