Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
