just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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