I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
