Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
