he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
