can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
