He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Randomize
