Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
