some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
