my mouth tastes like poor choices
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
