dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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