Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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