biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
