I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
